I am SMH … literally. I ran across this post on Bossip – Athletes & Thirsty Hoes: The Girl’s Guide To Landing A Dumb Baller – and could not believe what I was reading. I have heard all about groupies, but never really understood that being a groupie is a full-time job. Now, the ladies – I mean groupies – have turned to technology to teach each other how to score a baller.
According to the story, groupies have an online sorority – of sorts. They share information on how to land a baller, what to say to get that new BMW and how to work what you got to get what you want.
‘OFFICIAL Groupie,” a rosy cheeked Florida-based beauty, coaches inexperienced groupies. First in her playbook: Chase after the dumb jock. “See, the smarter ones are on to your gold digging groupie a$s. The smart ones can smell your money-hungry a$s a mile away,” the vixen posted in a three-part series, “How to Land a Baller.”
“You know the ones that can barely speak well in an interview,” Official Groupie instructs. “Yes, b*tch, him! Write his name down. Google him! “Start to focus on the ones who have criminal records, many baby mommas and plenty of kids, and have ‘advisors’ (i.e. cousins/homeboys that handle their business/money). They’ll be easy to recognize cause they always look ‘lost’ and ‘slow.’ He barely makes eye contact. He got a short attention span and easily gets distracted. He gotta think about the words he wanna use before he speaks and still mispronounce the words. He does stupid/dumb s – – – right in front of you. Yeah, him!”