From the time we are little girls, women are mentally trained by society, family and random images we see in the media of how a woman’s life should be, how she should behave and what she should and should not value. Any woman who does not follow suit is thought to have a skewed train of thought or to be too far from the norm. For some of you, these may seem obvious and that no woman in her right mind suffers from these symptoms. However, there are many women who actually do. Here are a few stereotypes that women are groomed to accept:
1. You Have To Have A Baby To Be Complete
Having a child is a wonderful experience for any woman. It also is forever life changing. It is one of the most significant things a woman can do in her life. The key words are “one of the most.” I would never encourage any woman to find her self worth through having a child. That is something that she should already have internally before she marries or becomes a mother. Knowing one’s self worth makes them even more valuable within the various relationships one has. Eventually, the child will grow and mature and will not be as needy towards their mother. When this happens it is a shocker to the woman’s system and suddenly she no longer feels that she has a purpose in life and becomes lost.
2. You Need To Be A Wife To Be Complete
Like having a baby, finding the man of your dreams is one of the most special moments a woman can have in her life. The idea of finding your soul mate is what many women dream about all of their lives. However, for some women, it takes much longer for that to happen or unfortunately never happens in their lifetime. Meanwhile, you have to be able to still feel complete and happy with yourself until that special guy comes.
3. You Cannot Have A Successful Career And A Husband
For those who were fans of the show “Girlfriends,” there was a character on the show named Joan. She was a successful lawyer, beautiful, talented, and intelligent. She was also single. This woman went from guy to guy and had a difficult time maintaining a relationship with a man. It was only after she quit her job as a lawyer, opened up her own restaurant and took a pay cut that she met a man and became engaged. Although I was happy for Joan, it concerned me that it took her quitting her successful career as a lawyer to find the man of her dreams. This furthered promoted the theory that a successful woman cannot be successful and have a successful love life simultaneously. Especially a successful Black woman.
4. Prince Charming Will Come and Swoop You Up And Solve All Of Your Problems
Once you find that Prince Charming it is easy to slip into the belief that he is your savior and protector from all harm because he is so good to you. On the contrary he is not your personal problem solver. No woman should ever place all of her faith into a man and expect that he is the solution to all of her existing and future problems. The right man should be an asset to her life as she should be to his but he should never become her super hero. The truth is that they do not exist.
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