Growing up, us ladies are always warned that guys only want one thing. Although that seems to be true, should they ever be warned the same thing? Lots of girls complain that they seem to want more in the bedroom than their man. Does this mean that we want too much? Or maybe that guys sometimes want it less?
My friend Liz started telling me about her recent problems in the bedroom. Whether or not his new and demanding job has anything to do with it, Liz is unhappy that he seems to be less aroused. She feels as though she is asking for it, whereas she used to be the one being tossed into bed before her shoes came off. “Am I doing something wrong?” She started buying more expensive panties and researching for more tricks in bed. I told her to hold off on criticizing herself until she knows what his deal is.
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My next question was whether or not the sex was as good when it finally happened. She said that in fact, the sex was probably better because she had to fight him for it. She told him exactly what she wanted and when he wasn’t going after her, she took it from him. She found herself daydreaming about sex all day because she knew it wouldn’t just be given to her when she got home. I suggested that she have the dreaded conversation with him and just tell him how she feels.
She confronted him saying, “Why don’t you initiate sex anymore?” He replied that of course he still enjoys having sex with her and once they get going he can’t get enough. The fact is, he is really exhausted after work. He looks forward to talking about his day more and relaxing with his girl rather than immediately going at each other. Liz was shocked, flattered, and extremely turned on by this reply. After understanding his position a little better, Liz was able to control her cravings and did her best to make him feel as relaxed as possible until he threw her over his shoulders and carried her to bed.
Even after hearing this story, I still can’t imagine a mom telling her son, “Be careful of that girl, she’s only after your dignity…” So what does this say about men? Do you ever feel like you want it more than he does?
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