Turkey Taboos: 10 Things You Should Never Do At Thanksgiving

Close up of black woman carving roast turkey during Thanksgiving dinner at dining table.

Source: Drazen Zigic / Getty

Ah, Thanksgiving—a cherished time for fellowship, laughter, and unapologetically overindulging in Granny’s mac n’ cheese and candied yams. It’s the one time of year when second and third helpings are not just allowed but expected. Yet, as we gather for another annual feast, let’s be real: Thanksgiving isn’t just about the food; it’s also about navigating the dynamics of family traditions, personalities, and, of course, those unspoken rules of the dinner table.

But let’s keep it real—there are always a few folks who somehow manage to break these sacred unwritten rules, setting off side-eyes sharper than Grandma’s knives. Are you tired of being the one who gets called out or, worse, vowing, *“I’m not coming back next year,”* only to show up anyway? This year, save yourself the drama. Here’s a guide for the whole family on 10 Things You Should Never Do at (Black) Thanksgiving Dinner.

Follow these, and you might just avoid the family roast that lasts well into Christmas.

1. Arrive Empty-Handed

Thanksgiving is a communal effort, so don’t be that guest who shows up with nothing but an empty stomach. Bring a dish, a dessert, drinks, or at the very least, some napkins!

2. Overstay Your Welcome

While spending time with family is great, lingering for hours after the last slice of pie has been served can turn a warm gathering into an awkward marathon. Know when it’s time to head out, graciously.

3. Engage in Heated Debates

Passionate discussions are healthy, but Thanksgiving dinner is not the place to turn the table into a battleground. Save the debates for another time and focus on the things that unite rather than divide. Unless, of course, there’s elephants that need addressing…

4. Experiment with Exotic Dishes Without Warning

Introducing your family to new culinary horizons is commendable, but surprises ain’t for everybody. Stick to the status-quo.

5. Interrupt the Thanksgiving Grace or Toast

Whether it’s a heartfelt grace or a festive toast, interrupting these moments with inappropriate comments or “look-at-me” jokes is a major faux pas. Show some respect, lawd!

6. Bring Uninvited Guests

A last-minute addition to the guest list can throw off the entire seating arrangement and menu. Always check with the host/your family before bringing along any uninvited guests, no matter how charming they may be.

7. Put The Aux Down

While your playlist might be a pre-game masterpiece, Thanksgiving dinner is not the time for an impromptu DJ practice. Unless asked, avoid taking control of the music. The elders won’t appreciate you mixing Luther Vandross with Sexyy Red…

8. Engage in Tech Overload at the Table

Thanksgiving is about connecting with loved ones, not your phone or tablet. Refrain from excessive texting, social media scrolling, or taking calls at the table. Give your full attention to the people around you. It’s basic manners.

9. Leave Without Offering to Help with Cleanup

The feast may be over, but the cleanup is just beginning. Don’t be the disappearing act that leaves the fam with a mountain of dirty dishes and tables. Offer to help clean up or, at the very least, express your gratitude for the meal and hospitality before making your exit.

10. Save the Date

We LOVE love, we love you, but baby… Thanksgiving dinner is a time for turkey and stuffing, not surprise proposals— especially if the host is in the dark! Keep the focus on family and food, and save the “I do’s” for a more intimate setting.