WE ASKED, YOU ANSWERED: Why Do Black Men Date Outside Their Race?

Over the weekend, black women were honored during BET’s annual “Black Girls Rock!” event which got us thinking. We know Black women are amazing and deserve all of the kudos in world but do the men see it?

In response, we posed the question to our Facebook page:

“If “Black girls rock” (because we know we do), then why do black men use our perceived flaws to justify dating outside their race?”

We received tons of responses, check them out below and give us your opinions in the comment section.

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“Some Black men who date outside of their race would do so even if Black women treated them like Gods or Kings. These Black men make up lame excuses about Black women having flaws to somehow justify their (Black Men’s) interracial dating choices, when in actuality these Black men worship White flesh, and would do so no matter how good Black women were,” said John F.

“Because they don’t like what they see in the mirror,” said Lavinnia B.

“Some of you black women are crazy and have issues no man will deal with that bullshit,” said Jartel H.

“I will never understand that but I never dated a white girl and only dated several Hispanics and only off of attraction, physical and intellectual but I am happily engaged to a black woman,” said, Roger S.

Robin S. said, “Pathetic men like Kanye West do, not REAL men!”

Paul said, “Love knows no color!! Deal with it.”

“Any man who puts down his own women is just pathetic and good riddance because black women don’t deserve that level of disrespect. You don’t see other races putting down their women. Apparently the person who says black women are crazy has never heard of Jodie Arias or watched the ID channel. There are just as many if not more crazy people in the other races too.” said Dorothy T.

“Because, most don’t recognize the best and would rather settle for less,” said Lashonda D.

“That’s why they go to Becky, b/c they think black women are crazy and have issues…..we jus tell the truth and call out a weak link,” said Adriana B.

Monroe said, “Because, they (Black men) are afraid and, ignorant! They allow themselves to buy into the media’s display of the White women as a goddess and, i feel sorry that people of color have such disdain for one another, i have witnessed Black men saying “Black women ain’t shit”, I confront them and, ask if their mother’s and, sister’s are whore’s oftentimes it becomes a heated argument but, the bottom line is, i don’t care whom you choose to love, i just take issue when u forget whom gave you life and, are ashamed if you’re mirrored image. All African-American’s need to read about Willie Lynch, making of a slave. It was a masterful design that will last a lifetime. Self hatred is demoralizing and, the sadness is people of color embrace this as normal. It is not about the skin color, it’s the ignorance our Black brother’s and sister’s refuse to acknowledge as a negative scar that cannot be healed!”

“Monroe you said that wonderfully and truthfully. Coming from a Black man it means a lot. I look at athletes running to marry white women, but make baby mamas out of Black women then don’t want to support the child. Then only to have the white woman take everything he has. But Black women are rude, insensitive, loud and demanding. Everyone cannot be judged if someone else hurt them. If that we’re the case why are they giving White women a chance when their ancestors enslaved our people. Stay out of the past hurts and get to know the real person,” said Milinda J.

David said, “I don’t use any woman’s flaws to date anybody . All woman are the same what’s the difference in color and size?”

Pam R. said, “It is tied to a stereotype that has been around from the time we were discovered by the Europeans. Just don’t feed into it.”

“We’re all human and God’s children…we are free to love each other,” said Fari E.

“Because a lot of black men hate themselves and do not even realize it. Black men have been ostracized to the level of not knowing who they are or whose they are, which is why as black women we must end the ridicule of the black man and speak life to them,” said Gwendolyn J.

“Lust”, said Barbara M.

“They have low self-esteem: meaning they think “white” is better,” said Michele B.

“Love is where you find it. I dated Black, White and Latino. I married Black. He is wonderful and treats me like a Queen. I am blessed,” said Patricia M.

Calvin J. said, “Works both ways, Ladies: Why do Black women use our perceived flaws to justify dating outside their race ? Unbelievably, there are some who base that on what they read (novels) and see on TV and in movies.”

Beverly S. said, “WHO KNOWS!!!”

Donyale S. said, “I think that men as have women have had bad experiences with some black women. Instead of dealing with that issue, they will deal with a different race. If a black man wants a white woman because he’s attracted to her, and would date a black woman for the same reason, I don’t have a problem with that. However, if he dates a woman outside his race because he feels all black women are evil, that’s unfair, because they haven’t met me yet. That’s like me saying all men are verbally abusive because that’s all I’ve dealt with. How would you feel if that was what was leveled at you?”

“Who knows I’ve been married to a beautiful black woman for 18 years and I wouldn’t change a thing,” said Delton F.

“My brother married a white woman. He was a very hard worker. When he left for work out the front door, she invited men (plural) in through the back. I’m not saying that this does not happen in a black/black marriage, or a white/white one for that matter. But his delusion that placing this woman on a pedestal was heartbreaking for him,” said Lynette J.

Michael W. said, “When God gives you a gift of a soul that loves you, respects you and cherishes you does it matter what the wrapping is?”

“I’ve dated outside my race and it became plain to me that women are women. There are good and bad in all of us. Why do black men feel compelled to justify dating outside there race is a mystery to me. I don’t knock any race to justify another,” said Kevin J.

“There should be no justification of who you choose to love. Our partners are chosen from our needs and that is that… LOVE ON BLACK MEN, WHO EVER FULFILLS YOUR NEEDS,” said Sunsum B.

“People are going to do what they want to do,” said Venderay M.

“To each his or her own! Love chooses us! If you are a Christian it should not matter who our brothers and sisters choose to date or love. It is not a sign of weakness However those who feel they must put down black women in order to date white women they have serious issues with they are doing. They don’t It is nobody’s business what,” said Joyce K.

“I think a lot of it is based on race and to compromise the hardship of being black versus the easier route for dating other than Black. I also think people date outside their race for sex and some for true love. I also believe dating outside one’s race is over-rated and it shouldn’t be about a competitive edge but for love and love only,” said Mary B.

“Those are the weak men who do that,” said Candace B.

“Love has no boundaries when it comes down to matters of the heart,” said Roy S.

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