Many relationship experts swear by the, “date as many as you can,” concept, hell I believe it to be the truth to some degree; however what exactly does that entail? Yesterday while checking the forum of a women’s Facebook group I belong to, I read the following comment:
“Had a convo yesterday with a new girl at my job. She seems to think its ok to date a guy that is in a relationship, so long as he’s not engaged or married. She believes in dating as many people as possible until you reach that status with one.”
Call me crazy, but a commitment is a commitment whether a ring is on a man’s finger or not! If someone you wish to date is already in a relationship that means he has made an agreement with another woman to see her exclusively. Never mind the fact that he may be breaking his end of the agreement to see you, but how is a woman possibly going to find her way to the one if she is the second, third, or fourth in line?
I know this woman is not alone in her thinking, there are many of us who are under the belief that if we date around, including dating those already with their “one”, that we will find the one.
Well let me break it down, here are five guidelines to follow when it comes to the concept of dating around:
1. Keep sex out of it! Dating around does not involve having sex with multiple partners, that is considered being promiscuous.
2. Be very clear about your intentions with the men you choose to go on dates with. Let them know that you are just dating casually with the intention of becoming serious with one down the line. To the right man, this will trigger “step up your game mode”.
3. Spread your time and dates out as evenly as possible. Avoid seeing the same date twice in the week, until you are certain that this person is worth taking to the next level.
4. Avoid daily texting, sexting and all the other naughty fun stuff until you are ready to narrow down your choices.
5. Have fun! Dating without the pressures of commitment and sex is supposed to be care-free and exciting.
Dating is often times viewed as a rat race, filled with endless pursuits and follies, however the more clear we are with our intentions, the easier it becomes. This means sticking to your end goal, whether that is to meet new people, find a husband, a companion and being honest with yourself. The journey only becomes a rat race when we get our wires crossed, the woman who dates men who are already in relationships (ring or not) is not trying to find “the one”, she’s simply not ready to.
What are your thoughts on the concept of dating as many people as possible? Does this include dating men who are already in relationships?
Talk to me!